Missing it

November 13, 2023 3 min

In the past 6 months, I've been having recurrent thoughts about how we only get one chance of living in this world. That we must do everything we possibly can and enjoy the most out of it. Every once in a while, I feel like my mind won't stop remembering that I’m already 21 and I'm not getting any younger. This makes me anxious as fuck, not because I think that I have little time left, but because I might be wasting these years not living the life I could.

I’ve heard lots of people saying stuff like “Everybody has 2 lives, the second starts when you realize you only have one”. I think that this is supposed to illustrate the idea of how one starts to live the life he/she is “supposed/want” to be living when death enters the room. I kind of agree with this and think that most people can turn this saying into a reality. I might be wrong (just like in every other post in this blog...), but I think that the most common result of this realization is to start giving more importance to your time and special moments.

The problem is: I can't.

For me, at least, it's really hard to not become anxious when this thought of death crosses my mind. I get the feeling that I need to do every single thing I possibly can and that my life should be way more amazing, otherwise, I might be missing it. The problem is that my life is not that amazing and it's impossible to do everything I want. Feels like I’m running on an infinite treadmill chasing living up to what I consider to be the ideal life eternally. Another thought that makes me anxious is that, for me, there is a right age for doing some things, and feeling that I might be losing these opportunities only makes it worse.

I’ve shared this with a cute girl I'm talking to and she said that I only have 2 options:

  • do the things that I think I’m missing at a different age and be happy that I did it
  • don’t do it and die regretting that I lost the proper age of doing it

The hard part is to manage this bad feeling of missing stuff I could’ve been living. But, in the end, I think that she’s right. Maybe I just need more therapy to accept that the years will go through one way or the other.

Cool stuff I've come across

I found out about this awesome poker app that has a beautiful UI and is amazingly simple to use. Kudos to the developers!

Humane just launched its first product. It looks nice and I’m pretty impressed (even with a huge amount of funding) by what they pulled off since it's a first gen product. Would love to test it.

Read about this cool concept/phrase called Omakase, which means something like “I’ll leave it up to you” and is used when the chef decides what you’re going to eat (generally in a Japanese restaurant).